Anger Anger Everywhere.. Part 2

“I am trying my best but I can’t control it”, “I don’t know what I say when I am angry, Sorry if I hurt you”, “I am angry don’t talk to me”, “I don’t know what I would do if I get angry”

Well go ahead loose your temper, say what you have to say, rip apart with your fiery words and tantrums, go ahead no one’s stopping you. Just remember “don’t expect others to forgive you or be your friend, be prepared to lead a lonely life. You might be surrounded by lots of people but you never find a geniune heart to share”.

Saint Kabir said

Mana Unmana Na Toliye, Shabado Ke Mol Na Tol
Murakh Log Na Janaasi, Aapa Khoya Bol

When your mind is raged then you should not react to the words. One does not have any means for the valuation and weighment of words. The fools do not understand this and lose their balance while talking.

In simple words Kabir refered to people with foul an
ger as “Fools”. Not only Kabir many s
cholars and philosophers share similar thoughts about anger and irate people. Maybe you are different you don’t want to listen to them, no problem carry on boss.

The fundamental failure(as I have discussed in part 1) is our inability to understand anger. Unfortunately parents, teachers for that matter no one in our environment has ever bothered to explain (Well, I guess they too are ill informed). So how do I understand anger? I may not be a researcher/scientist/scholar to substantiate my observations based on facts and figures however I believe as someone who has managed (Yes, I am proud about it, I would go around beating the drums. Born into a community which is infamous for foul, illogical temper I would consider my case a success….narendra stop being pompous macha) to continuously work on temper I trust my observations might be helpful to generate certain insights.

As most people like to believe understanding anger is not about you acknowledging you got a temper issue.

Who wants you to acknowledge it, the whole world knows it sister (latha/Malli am not talking about you, I have millions of other sisters). I would say cut the “Acknowledgement” crap and get to work.

Please open your brains. If it’s filled with scum and garbage well goto hell, you would find all your angry, rotten friends there, celebrate your anger and participate in the biggest reality show on hell “Anger Anger everywhere”.
When I say open your minds, I mean start identifying why, what, who triggers the uncontrollable biological reaction. Triggers are the starting point once you know how your system functions it would be lot easier to work on it. Just to add a quick point if you find “people” (which be the case with most of us) in that trigger you are in trouble infact, don’t worry you can turn it around not a big deal.

I have particularly strong memory of an incident which helped me a lot to gain tremendous insight to my anger. I happened to meet Dr.J.N.Reddy (Founder, Madras Academy for Excellence). As our conversation drifted between topics we got talking about anger. He said, “Most people are angry with others when they hear them making ill/bad/untrue/ugly remarks. Now why should you be angry at that, come on son it’s not the truth anyways why react to it, why loose your cool for something which isn’t true and if it were true then why loose it, your friend just spoke the truth, Is it fair to be angry on someone speaking the truth”. I wasn’t particularly blown away by this because all this happened in a brief meeting however it had a significant impact on my mindset. With each passing my resolve to conquer anger got stronger and more importantly I was taking the right steps.

Going back to understanding your anger, ask yourself if you want to be like to continue as an angry young woman blowing away people around you to satisfy your impulses. It requires great skills to talk to yourself and get an unbiased response, listen to your self and I am sure deep down no one wants to carry a label on angry irate fool.

By the time you read this you would know that I havn’t actually written much about how to understand your anger. I did that on purpose if you got furious by the time you reached half way through the post you know you seriously got a problem. I am not trying to bang you for this, I am just helping you gain that little piece to complete the jig saw. If you got really angry I can’t help it you know where to go (hell) but if you want to know more then make sure you are patient enough to wait for the next post. By the way I gave away an important tip why not sit down and list your trigger points. I will catch you soon.