Why no girl friend macha!


As I settled down to have lunch with my new set of colleagues. I heard a deep voice from behind “Hey, Tell us something about your girl friend” . In a moment my throat parched, smile vanished. I wasn’t expecting this Q. I gingerly turned around and said ” aaahhhh..I never had a girl friend till date”. Most people went quite.Trust me for the next five minutes I was subjected to sarcastic glares of disbelief, suspicion as if I were a reptile from african rain forests claiming to be a koala bear. I could sense colleagues around telling themselves as I was hurriedly gulping down my food “This guy is lying”, “Why lie dude we all have one”, “Is this guy an alien”, “What the hell, he’s a fake”.

I been asked questions about girl friend thing many a times, with V day season around, the questions are growing louder as usual. Luckily in Chennai “Never had Girl Friend” status is not scrutinized much. Infact majority of my schoolmates and friends are in the same boat, guess that’s why we still find time for each other.Wonder how the dynamics change across the metros, goto delhi you see a whole new world. Almost all my classmates had their special interests, one couple came all the way from another metro to puruse education ( Well, college was just a lame excuse). Another classmate of mine had 6 boy friends running parllelly( I know, she was very pretty but 6 that’s tad too many dear). Guess what, I was actually convinced with her explaination, logically it was perfect and then there were the ultra cool dudes who changed their girl friends as frequently as the wardrobe change in a bollywood song. I liked the format in which it worked. I was awe struck with the ease most of them juggled around their interests.

So what was I doing? I wasn’t too far away, just few light years behind. The presence of overwheleming number of girls at school left me in multiple adoloscent attractions, you know it’s too hard to settle for someone in such a supply driven environment. If I were to keep a tab on the crush list, well i would have required a chinese abacus. At school I had my best friend who was perhaps having his best patch till date, he had charmed all the girls. Big, small,fat, thin all swept away by his magical tact and clean humor. I guess I should have picked few tips from him, instead I was too busy visiting hospitals. The only affair I had was the affair with the hospital, it loved me so much I was housed their for few weeks and went on dating her almost every alternate weekend. By the time I could be stable I moved ahead to pursue engineering, I wasn’t expecting much but I was particularly amused by a young dusky girl, she had this lovely long hair, big eyes and a heart warming smile. In the first weeks I had several opportunities to talk to her but again I chickened out (Naren, please goto hell, you deserve no sympathy, you always keep coming back with lame excuses). As time moved on rapidly she remained my favourite however I don’t remember having spoken much with her, maybe a dozen lines in those 4 years partly because she was in a different stream. Years later I was surprised to learn from a common friend that I had some place in her heart too (Naren, bang your head against a wall, you missed the bus brother, I know you wud say she should have hinted first. Dud. you are such a loser).

The second time I came mighty close to signing up a girl friend was in my B-school. There was this skinny cute classmate of mine who seemed particularly impressed with me (Wonder why, guess she lacked the sixth sense). So on that fateful day I was feeling dizzy as i had a shallow sleep the previous night. After the day ended I was rushing up to catch the campus shuttle. She appeared from nowhere, my head spinning hard. I sat down on a bench near the bus, “Naren, do you have a girl friend” I was too busy trying to cease the vertigo. I replied no. “Can I be your girl friend” I am not too sure what was in my mind I just looked at her and almost yelled “I always thought you were a girl”. She turned red and left in a jiffy. After that day it looked like all the respect and affection for me had disappeared, I as usual was too scared to ask her or try to explain any further, I just let it go. (Such an idiot yaar, she should have shot you dead).

Looking at my skill set and serious lack of sensitivity I havn’t entertained too many ideas of subscribing a girl friend. I am quite relaxed and chilled with my “Dateless since birth” status. So did I miss something? answer is defnitely yes. I too would have been glad to own one however, looking at the way my friends struggled to manage their love lives, considering all the time and skills they exhibited, I guess I would have been a major disaster. Most of my friends had been poor examples and references to follow. They had all the time on earth for everything and anything but love. I have seen relationships turn from good-bad-ugly-uglier-please help me zones. As a third person I always wonder is this what you sign up a girl friend for? Well if you have a good reason do let me know.

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