How do we make friends?

I’m sure most of us would have thought about this. How do we decide who to be friends with? Most people would say choose your friends wisely. Does that really work? Does logic play a role in making friends? What’s the mantra to make great friends?

Here’s my take on how to make friends.

As a kid, I wanted to be associated with certain set of kids, those were days when I hardly understood what a friend or friendship meant. I use to try hard in a way to be part of that group or be friendly with certain kids who I thought would be my good friends. Infact most shared similar interests however, we never became friends. I decided to be their friend but you see it doesn’t work that way. Friends can’t be made, we cannot decide on who to be friends with. It’s never works that way.

Going by sheer logic, Mahesh  and I could have never been friends. Most people who know us are left exasperated on how people with different beliefs and ideologies could be best friends. Honestly, I didn’t choose to be his friend however with time we have established a certain connection which is inexplicable, call is karmic connection. Just the way a wand chooses his owner in the Potter series. An individual bonds with his friend, there’s no logic, it happens among people who share that magical link. Ideally I would have wanted to be friends with someone who shared common interests but it never worked, whenever I planned to be someone’s friend it has more or less failed. I have realized over years that you cannot choose or have a strategy to make friends.

You become someones friend only when he/she accepts you as their friend and that is totally beyond our control. Friendship isn’t a game, though it’s great fun, it needs tremendous amount of investment. In today’s world very few have managed to have friends over decades. They hardly understand the value of friendship. Every new person they meet gets the ‘friend’ tag and worse, the ‘BFF’ tag is brutally abused. And guess what in weeks or months they move to fresh set of “friends”. I denounce such behavior.

So what’s the secret of behind making friends forever? What’s the mool mantra? From my experience what I can tell for sure is you cannot have a plan, one has to be REAL and be himself. It’s really enjoyable when you build friendships over time. There maybe 101 ways to get rich or famous in a short period but a real friend has to be earned over time, no short cut available on that front, no book, no motivational guru can help you. Friend is one property you cannot trade with however, it’s by far the most important asset one can own.


Please share your thoughts on friends and friendships.